ALICE'S
ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
Lewis Carroll
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CHAPTER X
- The
Lobster Quadrille
- The
Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one
flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to
speak, but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice.
`Same as if he had a bone in his throat,' said the
Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him
in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice,
and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on
again:--
- `You
may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,'
said Alice)-- `and perhaps you were never even introduced
to a lobster--' (Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but
checked herself hastily, and said `No, never') `--so you
can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster
Quadrille is!'
- `No,
indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?'
- `Why,'
said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the
sea-shore--'
- `Two
lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon,
and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish
out of the way--'
- `THAT
generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.
- `--you
advance twice--'
- `Each
with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.
- `Of
course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to
partners--'
- `--change
lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the
Gryphon.
- `Then,
you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'
- `The
lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the
air.
- `--as
far out to sea as you can--'
- `Swim
after them!' screamed the Gryphon.
- `Turn a
somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering
wildly about.
- `Change
lobster's again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its
voice.
- `Back
to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the
Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two
creatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all
this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and
looked at Alice.
- `It
must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.
- `Would
you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.
- `Very
much indeed,' said Alice.
- `Come,
let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the
Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which
shall sing?'
- `Oh,
YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.'
- So they
began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now
and then treading on her toes when they passed too close,
and waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the
Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:--
- `"Will
you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a
snail. "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's
treading on my tail. See how eagerly the lobsters and the
turtles all advance! They are waiting on the
shingle--will you come and join the dance?
- Will
you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't
you join the dance?
- "You
can really have no notion how delightful it will be When
they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to
sea!" But the snail replied "Too far, too
far!" and gave a look askance-- Said he thanked the
whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance. Would
not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the
dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could
not join the dance.
- `"What
matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
"There is another shore, you know, upon the other
side. The further off from England the nearer is to
France-- Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and
join the dance.
- Will
you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't
you join the dance?"'
- `Thank
you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice,
feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so
like that curious song about the whiting!'
- `Oh, as
to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've seen
them, of course?'
- `Yes,'
said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she checked
herself hastily.
- `I
don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but
if you've seen them so often, of course you know what
they're like.'
- `I
believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their
tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'
- `You're
wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: `crumbs
would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails
in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock
Turtle yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the
reason and all that,' he said to the Gryphon.
- `The
reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with
the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea.
So they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails
fast in their mouths. So they couldn't get them out
again. That's all.'
- `Thank
you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew so
much about a whiting before.'
- `I can
tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon.
`Do you know why it's called a whiting?'
- `I
never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?'
- `IT
DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very
solemnly.
- Alice
was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she
repeated in a wondering tone.
- `Why,
what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I
mean, what makes them so shiny?'
- Alice
looked down at them, and considered a little before she
gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.'
- `Boots
and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep
voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.'
- `And
what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great
curiosity.
- `Soles
and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather
impatiently: `any shrimp could have told you that.'
- `If I'd
been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still
running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise,
"Keep back, please: we don't want YOU with
us!"'
- `They
were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle
said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a
porpoise.'
- `Wouldn't
it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.
- `Of
course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came
to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say
"With what porpoise?"'
- `Don't
you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.
- `I mean
what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone.
And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR
adventures.'
- `I
could tell you my adventures--beginning from this
morning,' said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use
going back to yesterday, because I was a different person
then.'
- `Explain
all that,' said the Mock Turtle.
- `No,
no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an
impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.'
- So
Alice began telling them her adventures from the time
when she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little
nervous about it just at first, the two creatures got so
close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and
mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went
on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to
the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD, FATHER
WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming
different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath,
and said `That's very curious.'
- `It's
all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.
- `It all
came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully.
`I should like to hear her try and repeat something now.
Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he
thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.
- `Stand
up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE
SLUGGARD,"' said the Gryphon.
- `How
the creatures order one about, and make one repeat
lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at
once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but
her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she
hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came very
queer indeed:--
- `'Tis
the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, "You
have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." As a
duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt
and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
- [later
editions continued as follows When the sands are all dry,
he is gay as a lark, And will talk in contemptuous tones
of the Shark, But, when the tide rises and sharks are
around, His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]
- `That's
different from what I used to say when I was a child,'
said the Gryphon.
- `Well,
I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it
sounds uncommon nonsense.'
- Alice
said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her
hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a
natural way again.
- `I
should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
- `She
can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with
the next verse.'
- `But
about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD he
turn them out with his nose, you know?'
- `It's
the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was
dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to
change the subject.
- `Go on
with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently:
`it begins "I passed by his garden."'
- Alice
did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would
all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--
- `I
passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the
Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'
- [later
editions continued as follows The Panther took pie-crust,
and gravy, and meat, While the Owl had the dish as its
share of the treat. When the pie was all finished, the
Owl, as a boon, Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
And concluded the banquet--]
- `What
IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle
interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's
by far the most confusing thing I ever heard!'
- `Yes, I
think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and
Alice was only too glad to do so.
- `Shall
we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the
Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to
sing you a song?'
- `Oh, a
song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice
replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather
offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her
"Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?'
- The
Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice
sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this:--
- `Beautiful
Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot tureen! Who for
such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the evening,
beautiful Soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop
of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
- `Beautiful
Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other dish? Who
would not give all else for two p ennyworth only of
beautiful Soup? Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop
of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'
- `Chorus
again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just
begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's
beginning!' was heard in the distance.
- `Come
on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it
hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.
- `What
trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon
only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more
and more faintly came, carried on the breeze that
followed them, the melancholy words:--
- `Soo--oop
of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter XI
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