ALICE'S
ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
Lewis Carroll
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CHAPTER V
- Advice
from a Caterpillar
- The
Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time
in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out
of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy
voice.
- `Who
are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.
- This
was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice
replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at
present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this
morning, but I think I must have been changed several
times since then.'
- `What
do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.
`Explain yourself!'
- `I
can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice,
`because I'm not myself, you see.'
- `I
don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
- `I'm
afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very
politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin
with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very
confusing.'
- `It
isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
- `Well,
perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but
when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some
day, you know--and then after that into a butterfly, I
should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?'
- `Not a
bit,' said the Caterpillar.
- `Well,
perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; `all
I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'
- `You!'
said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'
- Which
brought them back again to the beginning of the
conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the
Caterpillar's making such VERY short remarks, and she
drew herself up and said, very gravely, `I think, you
ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'
- `Why?'
said the Caterpillar.
- Here
was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not
think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed
to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned
away.
- `Come
back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something
important to say!'
- This
sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back
again.
- `Keep
your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
- `Is
that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well
as she could.
- `No,'
said the Caterpillar.
- Alice
thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else
to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something
worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without
speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the
hookah out of its mouth again, and said, `So you think
you're changed, do you?'
- `I'm
afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things
as I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes
together!'
- `Can't
remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.
- `Well,
I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY
BEE," but it all came different!' Alice replied in a
very melancholy voice.
- `Repeat,
"YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the
Caterpillar.
- Alice
folded her hands, and began:--
- `You
are old, Father William,' the young man said, `And your
hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand
on your head-- Do you think, at your age, it is right?'
- `In my
youth,' Father William replied to his son, `I feared it
might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure
I have none, Why, I do it again and again.'
- `You
are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before, And
have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a
back-somersault in at the door-- Pray, what is the reason
of that?'
- `In my
youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, `I
kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this
ointment--one shilling the box-- Allow me to sell you a
couple?'
- `You
are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak For
anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose,
with the bones and the beak-- Pray how did you manage to
do it?'
- `In my
youth,' said his father, `I took to the law, And argued
each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which
it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life.'
- `You
are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose That
your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel
on the end of your nose-- What made you so awfully
clever?'
- `I have
answered three questions, and that is enough,' Said his
father; `don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can
listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you
down stairs!'
- `That
is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.
- `Not
QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of
the words have got altered.'
- `It is
wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar
decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
- The
Caterpillar was the first to speak.
- `What
size do you want to be?' it asked.
- `Oh,
I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;
`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'
- `I
DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.
- Alice
said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in
her life before, and she felt that she was losing her
temper.
- `Are
you content now?' said the Caterpillar.
- `Well,
I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't
mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched
height to be.'
- `It is
a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily,
rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three
inches high).
- `But
I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous
tone. And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures
wouldn't be so easily offended!'
- `You'll
get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put
the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
- This
time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak
again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah
out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook
itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled
away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, `One side
will make you grow taller, and the other side will make
you grow shorter.'
- `One
side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to
herself.
- `Of the
mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked
it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
- Alice
remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a
minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of
it; and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very
difficult question. However, at last she stretched her
arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a
bit of the edge with each hand.
- `And
now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a
little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next
moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it
had struck her foot!
- She was
a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was
shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some
of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against
her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth;
but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel
of the lefthand bit.
- * * * *
* * *
- * * * *
* *
- * * * *
* * *
- `Come,
my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight,
which changed into alarm in another moment, when she
found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all
she could see, when she looked down, was an immense
length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of
a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.
- `What
CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where HAVE
my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I
can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke,
but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking
among the distant green leaves.
- As
there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to
her head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was
delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily
in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded
in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going
to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be
nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had
been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a
hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was
beating her violently with its wings.
- `Serpent!'
screamed the Pigeon.
- `I'm
NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!'
- `Serpent,
I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued
tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every
way, and nothing seems to suit them!'
- `I
haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said
Alice.
- `I've
tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've
tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to
her; `but those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'
- Alice
was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
- `As if
it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the
Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night
and day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three
weeks!'
- `I'm
very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was
beginning to see its meaning.
- `And
just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,'
continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and
just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last,
they must needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh,
Serpent!'
- `But
I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm
a--'
- `Well!
WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're trying
to invent something!'
- `I--I'm
a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she
remembered the number of changes she had gone through
that day.
- `A
likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the
deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in
my time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no!
You're a serpent; and there's no use denying it. I
suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted
an egg!'
- `I HAVE
tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very
truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much
as serpents do, you know.'
- `I
don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why
then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'
- This
was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent
for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the
opportunity of adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know
THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me whether
you're a little girl or a serpent?'
- `It
matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm
not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I
shouldn't want YOURS: I don't like them raw.'
- `Well,
be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it
settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down
among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept
getting entangled among the branches, and every now and
then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she
remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in
her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling
first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes
taller and sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in
bringing herself down to her usual height.
- It was
so long since she had been anything near the right size,
that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to
it in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as
usual. `Come, there's half my plan done now! How puzzling
all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to
be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to
my right size: the next thing is, to get into that
beautiful garden--how IS that to be done, I wonder?' As
she said this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with
a little house in it about four feet high. `Whoever lives
there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come upon them
THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their
wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again,
and did not venture to go near the house till she had
brought herself down to nine inches high.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter
VI
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