ALICE'S
ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
Lewis Carroll
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CHAPTER XII
- Alice's
Evidence
- `Here!'
cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment
how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she
jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the
jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the
jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there
they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a
globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week
before.
- `Oh, I
BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great
dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she
could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in
her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must
be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or
they would die.
- `The
trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave
voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper
places-- ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking
hard at Alice as he said do.
- Alice
looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she
had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little
thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way,
being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again,
and put it right; `not that it signifies much,' she said
to herself; `I should think it would be QUITE as much use
in the trial one way up as the other.'
- As soon
as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of
being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found
and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently
to write out a history of the accident, all except the
Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but
sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the
court.
- `What
do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.
- `Nothing,'
said Alice.
- `Nothing
WHATEVER?' persisted the King.
- `Nothing
whatever,' said Alice.
- `That's
very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They
were just beginning to write this down on their slates,
when the White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your
Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful
tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.
- `UNimportant,
of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on
to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant--
unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word
sounded best.
- Some of
the jury wrote it down `important,' and some
`unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near
enough to look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter
a bit,' she thought to herself.
- At this
moment the King, who had been for some time busily
writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read
out from his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN
A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'
- Everybody
looked at Alice.
- `I'M
not a mile high,' said Alice.
- `You
are,' said the King.
- `Nearly
two miles high,' added the Queen.
- `Well,
I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides, that's
not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'
- `It's
the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.
- `Then
it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.
- The
King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.
`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low,
trembling voice.
- `There's
more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the
White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper
has just been picked up.'
- `What's
in it?' said the Queen.
- `I
haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it
seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to
somebody.'
- `It
must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was
written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'
- `Who is
it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.
- `It
isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact,
there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the
paper as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after
all: it's a set of verses.'
- `Are
they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of
they jurymen.
- `No,
they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the
queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)
- `He
must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.
(The jury all brightened up again.)
- `Please
your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and
they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the
end.'
- `If you
didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the
matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else
you'd have signed your name like an honest man.'
- There
was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first
really clever thing the King had said that day.
- `That
PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.
- `It
proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't
even know what they're about!'
- `Read
them,' said the King.
- The
White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin,
please your Majesty?' he asked.
- `Begin
at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on till
you come to the end: then stop.'
- These
were the verses the White Rabbit read:--
- `They
told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him: She
gave me a good character, But said I could not swim.
- He sent
them word I had not gone (We know it to be true): If she
should push the matter on, What would become of you?
- I gave
her one, they gave him two, You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you, Though they were mine
before.
- If I or
she should chance to be Involved in this affair, He
trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were.
- My
notion was that you had been (Before she had this fit) An
obstacle that came between Him, and ourselves, and it.
- Don't
let him know she liked them best, For this must ever be A
secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself and me.'
- `That's
the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'
said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--'
- `If any
one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown
so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit
afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_
don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'
- The
jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe
there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them
attempted to explain the paper.
- `If
there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a
world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find
any. And yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the
verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I
seem to see some meaning in them, after all. "--SAID
I COULD NOT SWIM--" you can't swim, can you?' he
added, turning to the Knave.
- The
Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said.
(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of
cardboard.)
- `All
right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering
over the verses to himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE
TRUE--" that's the jury, of course-- "I GAVE
HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, that must be what
he did with the tarts, you know--'
- `But,
it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO
YOU,"' said Alice.
- `Why,
there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to
the tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than
THAT. Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--"
you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said to the
Queen.
- `Never!'
said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the
Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had
left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he
found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again,
using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long
as it lasted.)
- `Then
the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round
the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.
- `It's a
pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody
laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the King
said, for about the twentieth time that day.
- `No,
no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict
afterwards.'
- `Stuff
and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having the
sentence first!'
- `Hold
your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.
- `I
won't!' said Alice.
- `Off
with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her
voice. Nobody moved.
- `Who
cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full
size by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!'
- At this
the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down
upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and
half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found
herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of
her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves
that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.
- `Wake
up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long sleep
you've had!'
- `Oh,
I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told
her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these
strange Adventures of hers that you have just been
reading about; and when she had finished, her sister
kissed her, and said, `It WAS a curious dream, dear,
certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting
late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she
ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had
been.
- But her
sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head
on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of
little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she
too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her
dream:--
- First,
she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the
tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright
eager eyes were looking up into hers--she could hear the
very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss
of her head to keep back the wandering hair that WOULD
always get into her eyes--and still as she listened, or
seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive
the strange creatures of her little sister's dream.
- The
long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit
hurried by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through
the neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the
teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their
never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen
ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution--once
more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess's knee,
while plates and dishes crashed around it--once more the
shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's
slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed
guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant
sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.
- So she
sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in
Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them
again, and all would change to dull reality--the grass
would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling
to the waving of the reeds--the rattling teacups would
change to tinkling sheep- bells, and the Queen's shrill
cries to the voice of the shepherd boy--and the sneeze of
the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all thy other
queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused
clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the
cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock
Turtle's heavy sobs.
Lastly, she
pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in
the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep,
through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her
childhood: and how she would gather about her other little
children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager with many a
strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long
ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and
find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own
child-life, and the happy summer days.
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